(via hotboyproblems)

catfasteve:

it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”

eruriholic:

beefmilk2:

pansoph:

for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’

jerry is here

my chinese teacher once shared this story in class about someone who went to the grocery to buy chicken, but they forgot the english word for it, so they grabbed an egg, went to the nearest sales lady and said “where’s the mother”

(via hey-there-delaney)

spaceshipsandpurpledrank:

(via inner-felicity)

(via sefleurirr)

Tumblr Code.

squided:

gossipseer:

geekishchic:

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

always reblog tumblr identification

This is an absolute tumblr relic. I feel like an archaeologist right now. This is incredible that this is on my dash.

this is from an era long passed

(via hotboyproblems)

fluffychesnut:

egaylitarian:

500daysofbecky:

500daysofbecky:

I really need everyone to see me throwing a piece of bread into a bears mouth.

I actually have never been more proud of anything in my life and WILL reblog this every day until I die.

Fris-bear

talented bear

(via thebestoftumbling)